.period.

i just remembered a quote from HOUSE (thx to nick...i love HOUSE): "he cured you. you didnt cure him." the same goes to me. a friend of mine called me last night and told me how i helped him a lot. i inspired him. i cant deny that it felt so damn good knowing that you mean something to other people. but the feeling lasted for only a milisecond before i found myself crying. i prolly cured him or other people around me but they didnt cure me. no, im not trying to blame them cause curing isnt something you can do on purpose. it happens naturally, unintendedly. just like any other masterpieces of nature.

have you ever felt so damn low? feels like giving up; feels like surrender to no one but yourself. i know that im unwell. not a bit. a whole lot. my life curve is going on a one-way street called DOWN. nothing seems to cheer me up. i used to be thankful for a rose amongst so many thorns. i saw glass as half full. i waited for a beautiful rainbow after the rain. now? huh...everything is the other way around. i curse thorns for keeping one rose apart from the others. dont you realise that a rose is always alone and lonely? i guess thats because of its thorns. i see glass as half empty. i close my window and sleep when it rains. no more waiting for what comes after.

i dont know when will it be over. the misery. the pain. the curse. i wish i could just put a period after a long bitter sad sentence, but unfortunately life forces me to put coma, semicolon, and anything else but period instead. i dont have the courage to fight against life. but i do hope i have the courage to say "hey life...watch me!!! today i fail but ill try again tomorrow..."

.bad guy vs good guy.

forget the old saying "each day is a gift". it took me years to finally realise that each day is a battle. it is either win or lose. nothing in between. someone once said to me that bad guys always win. sometimes the bad guy is a jerk boyfriend/girlfriend. sometimes the bad guy is a person who coincidentally cross your path and take your loved one[s] away. sometimes the bad guy is an enemy youve been battling for as long as you can remember. sometimes the bad guy is a disease that you dont stand a chance against. and sadly, sometimes the bad guy is the person you see in the mirror. i guess the only thing you can do is to wake up the next morning and HOPE that being a good guy pays off.

.strong aint always that strong.

i read an interesting article. its about how men love paris-hilton-type-of-women. men enjoy being with women that are simple. men love women that can hug, kiss, and laugh without asking questions. maybe thats their definition of 'simple'. as for me, men use the term 'simple women' to clothe the ugly naked term: stupid women. men like women who keeps their mouth shut all the time except when they kiss. men adore women who can be controlled like barbie dolls. men hate strong women for showing them that strong aint always that strong. men avoid arguments where they cant win. um, it isnt a crime when men go for simple women instead of strong ones and it isnt a mistake for women if they choose to be simple. i just couldnt help but wonder...how bout the strong women? what are their roles in this insanity called life?

well...most women i know are categorised under 'strong women' label. they speak their mind. they pursue their own happiness and they love wholeheartedly. along the way, they get hurt and cry, they are stabbed from the back and betrayed by people they love most. thats the fact. what can i say...i am one of them. aint proud of being one cause i didnt chose to be one. i just happened to be one. since there are so many prejudice about strong women, id like to take a snapshots of those strong women from their weakest angle.

humph, honestly it aint easy being strong. or should i revise...it aint easy when men labeled you as a strong woman. you scare them away. you always end up feeling sorry for yourself even when you won the argument square and fair. you always end up apologizing even when you know youre right. you are the prisoner in your own free world.

looking at strong women from a different angle, youll find that these 'monsters' called strong women are the answer for every mans need. strong women do their duties and fight for their rights. strong women work hard and arent afraid to sweat. strong women dont stand there and do nothing; they initiate change and strive for the best. strong women are able to say right when it is right and wrong when it is wrong. strong women dare to take a leap of faith to test their hearts. strong women courageously stand up for people they love. strong women irrationally challenge men to believe in themselves when there arent any logical reason and rational evidence.

pointing out the fact doesnt mean that one type of woman is better than the other. im in no position to give judgment. i just write my thoughts out nakedly.

p.s: when you meet a strong woman, look deeper...youll see a fragile soul trapped in a dimension called body. dont be too hard on her. shes just trying her best to survive.