.dear readers.

dear readers,

lately its been bothering me. the fact that some people assume my writings. they think theyre about them. or even worse, they think theyre about some other people in my life. please dont assume things. as the title of the blog says "adsa and her naked thoughts", it really is. yes, sometimes my writings are about real life stories. some other times theyre just my random thoughts. i change names, places, conditions, well...i tailor made them into mere writings. and of course i can do that. im the writer, remember? and you, as the readers...all youve gotta do is to read. leave some comments if you want, but to assume my writings under any assumption? hell no...you cant do that. i just wanna write. its my way out from this crazy complicated world of mine. if you cant stop making assumption in your head, at least dont open your mouth. that way, you wont be spreading your assumptions to other people.

people, if you need gossip you can tell me. ill buy you some gossip mags. my blog and my stories aint something to be gossiped about. but if you need some fresh thoughts to contemplate over, yes you can read my blog. of course i dont expect anyone without brain and thoughts to understand this. but i think we all do have brain and thoughts, dont we?

thanks for the understanding or at least, thanks for the willingness to try. remember, free your mind from any assumptions =]

love,
me

.a girl and a boy.

you sit there. next to me. trying to explain the whole thing. you hope id understand.

i sit here. next to you. trying to convince myself that youre right. i wish id understand.

so many things. so many reasons. do you think i care? call me selfish. watever. not everythings about you, you know. sometimes it has to be about me. just this time, i wanna make it right. i want it to be perfect. just this time, i wanna believe that fairytale happy ending aint fake. i really do. ive been fighting this skepticism. i bleed. maybe itll kill me. but i wanna try. i wanna believe. i wanna relive the part of me thats been died. here i am battling against the perpetual enemy of mine. there you are talking stuff that made me sick. youre not helping me. well, not that i need your help. i just need to know,,,are you gonna be there? are you gonna be a part of my story? my fairytale? or are you not?

im not asking for much...but please, if you cant see yourself in any part of the story, would you just go? i cant handle it. i dont have enough energy to fight against all odds and you. one battle is enough. more than enough. but yea, if you wanna play part in my fairytale, youre more than welcome to. hand me your hand. when we hold each other, well get our happy ending. hold me close when i go astray.

you ask me, "isnt it too cliche?"
i answer, "well...my version of a fairytale doesnt involve a beautiful princess, a knight in a shining armor, and a gigantic castle. my fairytale is about a girl and a boy who fall in love. they scream, they cry, they make up, they laugh, they love. just in love. all the time."

i look at you. you look at me. we both understand.

.wait.

can a heart loves two other hearts at the same time?
can it be real when you dont even know its there?
can you say you moved on when you keep on looking back every now and then?
can i trust the way i feel?

damn, so many questions. some people try to help. thanks, but no. noone can. not even me. ive been looking around for answers. none. ive given up. so tired. then i kneel down and pray. its my last resort. my last ray of hope. i wait and wait and wait. yesterday i told myself "maybe tomorrow". today i tell myself "maybe today". argh,,,i hate to admit that the wait is killing me. it eats away my hope. bit by bit.